


Pieces

by IaMcHrIsSi



Series: Small pictures [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-04-12 09:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 13,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4474544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IaMcHrIsSi/pseuds/IaMcHrIsSi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little scenes during the OT.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Anger

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm cleaning up my account and decided to post all my drabbles from tumblr here.

“He’s going to be okay.” Han says. Leia wants to believe it, she really does. But seeing Luke in that bacta tank, unconcious and hurt and pale… it feels wrong in so many ways. 

Still, she nods at Han’s words. He needs to believe it, too, she knows. No matter what happens between her and him, one thing she can always count on is that both of them care deeply for the young pilot.

And isn’t that stupid, That she decided that she can count on someone. Hasn’t she learned? It’s easier not to rely on anyone. That way she will not be dissappointed, not expecting help when there isn’t any coming. That way she will not sit in the med-center staring at an injured pilot that means way more to her than he should and worry about whether or not he’s going to make it.

The med-droid reads over some scannings. Leia looks at Luke. He is so pale. Luke isn’t supposed to be pale. He is a desertboy, a farmboy. They, the Rogues, Han and her, have teased him about it often enough. That he is so pale suddenly… it looks wrong.

She feels a tear in her eyes and angrily swipes it away. She knows better than this. Should have known better than letting those two boys become this important to her. And yes, she knows that Luke would never willingly leave or betray her, but neither would papa or mama or Sabe have. Just because people don’t want to leave doesn’t mean they won’t ever have to.

Leia closes her eyes. Leans against the wall. She’s not going to think about Alderaan. Not now. Because is she starts thinking about it, really thinking about it, she will cry and she will break down. And she can’t afford that. She has a rebellion to run, an Empire to bring down, a planet to avenge. She can’t be weak.

The door opens. It’s Wedge. He looks pale and worried. Leia can relate. “How is he?” He asks quietly. Suddenly Leia is angry. Luke is injured, not dead. They only ever speak quietly around dead or dying people, and Luke isn’t… can’t…

Through her sudden anger, she can hear Han answer quietly. “He’s going to have to spent a couple more hours in the bacta, but according to the droid he should be fine soon enough. Will have to miss Wes’ party, though.” The joke falls flat, but Wedge grins weakly anyway. Leia manages, somehow, to summon something like a smile. Wedge leaves again, promising to tell the other Rogues about the development.

The room falls into silence once again. Leia’s anger has cooled down a bit. Not entirely dissappeared, no, but… Wedge doesn’t know how to handle this, either. Him and Luke have been friends ever since Yavin, and Luke has never gotten hurt so seriously. Being angry at Wedge is unfair, and irrational. Leia knows that.

But she keeps a bit of her anger. Anger is, as she has learned in the last three years, excellent fuel for rebellious activity. It keeps her going even when by rights she should not be able too. She can’t and won’t give that up. And she has reasons to be angry. One of them is right in this room.

Leia glares at Han. He is looking over to Luke, still worried, and quite a bit paler than usual. She is worried, a bit, and that angers her even more. He wants to leave, wants to abandon their cause, and well, her. She’s angry at him and angry at herself. She has gotten used to him, has come to expect him to be there. She really should know better than that.

Han will leave as soon as Luke is better. Leia takes a deep breath. She will be able to deal with that, will be able to forget him. She has too. But for now, they both just watch Luke together and worry.


	2. Breaking Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia breaks down. Just after ANH, Leia POV

The second morning After Leia wakes up, and for a moment she doesn’t remember.

She wakes up slowly. The room is hotter than she is used to, she thinks dimly, maybe she should ask Annai, her handmaiden, too open a window. And why is it so loud? There aren’t usually so many voices to be heard in Leia’s room.

She opens her eyes. And suddenly she remembers. In that moment, it is as if a huge wave crashes over her and pulls her under, and for a few moments she feels like she’s drowning. Leia’s not a fan of such poetic rhetoric, has never been, she prefers practical, clear speech, but right then… it’s the best way to describe it. The sheer intensity of both her anger and her grief hits her like a punch in the gut, only it doesn’t stop. Everything hurts, and gods, she was tortured not three days ago, and she feels it again, she feels every single one of her bones, and she can’t move, and some distant part of her brain realizes that she is going into a panic attack, but there is nothing she can do, no way to stop it. 

When she finally stops seeing Alderaan exploding and interrogation droids, she is shaking and sobbing and she wants nothing more than to curl in a ball and die, so that she might meet mama and papa again in the afterworld, where Alderaan is whole and nothing hurts and where she can believe that everything will be alright. In this moment she wants to hate Luke and Han for rescuing her, for not letting her die when her whole life had already ended.

But she can’t, because Leia’s parents raised a strong young woman, and she remembers them too well to believe that they would support her decision to end her life, because it would feel like betraying them and everything they fought for to give up.

So she stands up. Her legs are weak, hardly carrying her, and she still feels every bone in her body, but she goes to the fresher. The clock shows lunchtime, which means that she probably lay in her bed sobbing for a few hours, and when she looks into the mirror, she can see it, sees her red swollen eyes and the dark rings under her eyes and the hopeless look on her face. But she also sees the necklace she’s wearing, a present from her mother for her sixteenth life day, and in that moment she promises herself to continue fighting. Her life might have ended, and she might end up destroying herself, but she’ll be damned if she doesn’t at least try to take the Empire with her. She owes that to her parents, to the whole planet of Alderaan.


	3. Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of the twins behaving like the teenagers they are, Leia POV

“Come on let’s go to the lake!” Luke shouts with a big grin as he grabs her hand and pulls her with him. Leia follows him smiling. Luke may be an ace-pilot, the hero of Yavin and the Commander of Rogue Squadron, but he is also still a desert boy who will always be really fascinated by great ammounts of water.

They are running through the base, holding hands like small children. It feels… it feels good, and free, and childish. As though for a moment, they are children again, young and carefree and happy. Leia wants to laugh.

Others get out of their way. Leia swears she sees a fond, almost parental expression on the older pilots faces. Luke and her are only 19, children to them, she admits to herself. Usually that would annoy her. She has fought for so long to be taken seriously, to be accepted in an adult world. But right now it feels good. She has lost so much, lost her parents and her planet and everything. Just for a moment, she wants to have something, wants to regain parts of the childhood she has long discarded.

Finally, they leave the gray walls of the base behind. They are greeted by an explosion of color. Nalem is a beautiful planet with a rich wildlife and lots of different, exotic flowers. Leia had fallen in love immediately when she had arrived three days ago.

The lake is ten minutes away from the base if one walks at a normal pace. Running, Luke and Leia make it in five. They are out of breath when they arrive and sweating in the hot, humid air, but it’s worth it. Leia doesn’t let go of Luke’s hand.

The lake looks amazing. It’s a big lake, with calm, deep water. It has a nice, green-blue color (not azure like the oceans of Alderaan, but Leia will not think of Alderaan, not now) and a few small islands, not too far away for a short swim. It’s very beautiful, even for her, who is used to such natural beauty. It must be even more stunning for Luke.

Said pilot is already taking of his shoes. Leai smiles and does the same. Soon they are standing in the water, small waves playing around their ankles, hands clasped together again. Luke grins next to her, taking in every sight, every sensation.

Leia closes her eyes. She tries not to think. If she starts thinking, she will start remembering. She doesn’t want to ruin this happy moment, so she tries feeling instead.

Leia feels the hot air, surrounding her, filling her lungs. She feels the water at her feet, cool and wet and calming. She feels sweat creeping down her back, somehow not as uncomfortable as usual. And she feels Luke’s hand, warm and dry and strong. She concentrates on that sensation. She isn’t usually one for holding hands, or for physical contact in general. She’s not afraid of it or anything, she just … doesn’t usually touch.

Luke is different, though. With Luke, Leia… they hug. They hold hands. She leans into him when she is frustrated in a briefing, falls asleep with her head on his shoulder. It’s easy. Comfortable. Familiar, in a way Leia doesn’t even try to understand. They fit, somehow. Leia doesnt question it. She doesnt want to think too hard about these things, for fear they will disappear if she does.

Leia feels Luke tugging at their joined hands. She knows he’s grinning even before she opens her eyes. 

“Let’s go in deeper!” He says exitedly. He can’t even swim, she knows, but he doesn’t seem to care about that.

“We don’t have bathing suits.” Leia protests feebly. Luke just looks at her, with his big blue puppy eyes. That’s just mean. He knows how difficult it is to say no to him when he does that.

“Okay.” She sighs. Their trousers are already soaked, so it’s not as if it will be that big of a difference. She can always dry them in her room, she reasons. Suddenly she has an idea. If they are already this wet…

She trips Luke. He loses balance and falls. For a moment there is a hilarious expression of shock in his face. Then it morphs into a grin, and he uses their still joined hands to pull her down with him. The water is little more than hip deep, but Leia ends up completely under water for a moment. After that, all bets are off.

(Explaining to Mon Mothma why they return dripping with water is interesting, but the older woman has an amused glint in her eyes, and Leia feels more relaxed than she has in weeks, so she decides that it was absolutely worth it.)


	4. Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke's thoughts shortly after ANH

It’s cold on Yavin.

It’s something Luke only really notices three days after the battle, after the adrenaline and the euphoria finally ebbs away and everything settles in. 

It’s cold. And wet. Luke generally doesn’t have a problem with wetness, he is, after all, a child of the desert, he knows, in a way he suspects many here don’t, just how much water and wetness is tied to life, how wonderful even one drop of water can be when one has traveled through long stretches of dry, hot sand. It’s just… it feels strange, alien, somehow, to be surrounded by it, to be around people who accept water and the cool wind as if it’s something natural, something that can be taken for granted.

Aunt Beru always said that water is a gift of the goddess. It’s all Luke can think of when he sees Wedge leave half of his water, when they wash the X-Wings with real water instead of sonic waves, when he realizes that there are water showers here. Water is a gift of the goddess, and it should not be wasted.

Uncle Owen would have been more comfortable with this, probably, but then Uncle Owen was never quite as religious as Aunt Beru, never quite as tied to the desert. He was no child of the desert. Uncle Owens family had always been free.

This is another strange thing. Nobody here cares for the status of a person, nobody even seemed to realize that there are, in fact, still slaves in the galaxy. Luke is free, he has always been, just like Aunt Beru, but there are not… they are the freeborn children of slaves, raised in the desert culture of Tatooine while always knowing they are free, always being aware of the distinction, the fine line between free people and slaves. They are free children of the desert. 

But Aunt Beru is dead, and so is Uncle Owen. He can’t really process it yet, still wakes up sometimes expecting to see them in the kitchen, hear them shout for something. He gave them the funeral rites. Typical Tatooinian, which was difficult on Yavin, because there are no deserts here, but he managed. He’s not sure whether giving Uncle Owen the desert funeral rites was right, because Uncle Owen was no child of the desert, but it’s the only way Luke knows, and it felt right, so there’s that.

Luke can’t return to Tatooine, that is obvious, and he doesn’t really want to, either. Tatooine was almost prison to him, a place that held him to close, to hard, that offered no change and no future. Yavin does. Yavin offers X-Wings and Leia and Han and Wedge and the other pilots, it offers adventure and friendship and a chance to change the galaxy. It’s everything Tatooine was not, and at least for now, that’s a good thing.

It’s cold on Yavin, especially for a child of the desert. But Han offers to turn up the heat on the Falcon, and somehow Luke thinks that he might someday get used to it


	5. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke's thoughts upon returning to Tatooine in ROTJ

It’s a weird feeling, to be back here, after all that has happened. The desert looks the same, as does the town. The people are the same, too, but Luke doesn’t stop to talk to them. Nothing seems to have changed since he was last here, since he left this planet grieving and angry and lost and hoping to never set foot on it again.

They land in the desert, close to Old Ben’s hut, but Luke takes Leia to Anchorhead. He’s not entirely sure, why. They don’t learn anything they didn’t know before, and Luke really doesn’t want any of the farmers to notice him. They pick up a bit more water and other supplies, though, because Luke knows better than to go into the desert unprepared.

Luke looks around, and somehow it’s hard to breathe. Everything is just so… familiar. This is the place he grew up in. There is the school, still old and rundown, and somehow smaller than he remembers it. There is the Darklighter’s house, where he spent hours and hours with Biggs. He knows if he goes down the street to his right, he will end up at the slave quarters. They are all there, he knows. He could go there. Help out with some mechanics. Listen to Amee’s stories again. 

But he for some reason he can’t. The charred ruins of the farm, his home for 19 years, are still burning in his mind. He tries to remember Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, but all he sees are their smoking remains. 

Laughter draws Luke’s attention. He welcomes the distraction. Camie, Fixer, Windy and Deak are standing in front of Tosche Station, looking exactly like Luke remembers them. They laugh about some sort or joke, looking painfully young and naïve. Luke feels… strange. They are 23. So young. Like him. Four years ago, he would have been there with them, laughing with them, or maybe being the joke. It seems like a lifetime ago, but Camie and Fixer and Deak and Windy are still there, still looking the same way. It’s as if here on Tatooine time has stopped. 

Luke isn’t the same, though. He has seen battles, he has killed and watched friends die. He has seen triumph as well as crushing defeat. Luke is a pilot now, a respected commander and a rebel hero, and he is a Jedi. He is not the boy he used to be, even though his friends hardly seem to have changed.

But there are new things as well. He can see a ring glint on Camie’s finger. So Fixer finally asked her. Luke smiles tiredly. That development had been coming since Camie and Fixer had been 13 and refusing to admit they liked each other. Deak has a scar on his cheek. Probably an attack of the sand people. Maybe Deak has finally learned to stand up for himself. Luke certainly hopes so, for Deak’s sake. Deak had always been a follower, not really able to think on his own. It’s a difficult way to live. Windy’s smile has an edge to it, now. Something bad happened to him. Luke doesn’t know what, and he’s honestly not sure he wants to.

There are parts of them he doesn’t recognize. But, as Luke realizes as Mrs. Darklighter, a woman that had been like an aunt to him, goes past him without even noticing him, they would probably not recognize him either. It’s a strange thought, and Luke is not sure how he feels about it.

Luke tries to ignore the empty places next to his old friends, but finds he can’t. Biggs isn’t there. He would laugh with them, loud and full, and make the next joke, just to make sure the others aren’t laughing about Luke. He misses his old friend very much in this moment. Remembers their last conversation, just before the battle of Yavin, and the moment when he had realized that the explosion behind him had been Biggs X-Wing, the moment he had known that Biggs was dead. The other empty space isn’t exactly less painful. Tank had joined the Imps. His old friend actually believse in the Empire, Luke knows. Tank really believes that he is fighting for the right side. Luke remembers the moment in a half-evacuated rebel base when he had realized that the person who was pointing a blaster at him was Tank, remembers the shock that had been visible on Tank’s face just as much as his own. Remembers his old friend shooting at him. Luke shakes his head. Memories won’t help him now.

Forcefully, he pulls his eyes away from Tosche station, from his old friends. He has everything he needs. Leia is standing next to him, taking in everything. He feels that she wants to ask, wants to know all about this place, but Luke is not in the mood to answer questions. He leads her back to Ben’s hut, managing to walk past the burned farm that not four years ago was his home without stopping. 

They have work to do. And then, if (when) they manage to free Han, they don’t ever have to come back here. Tatooine can stay Tatooine, old and dusty and hot and still the same, and Luke can be Luke, pilot and rebel and Jedi and not defined by his former home. 

He doesn’t feel at home here, not anymore. And that’s both freeing and scary


	6. Hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke, Leia and Han in the desert, Leia POV

Leia’s cloths stick to her body uncomfortably. The sun is burning down from above them, but the ground is just as hot, the sand biting even through her shoes. She feels sweat trickle down her back, and her hair feels itchy. Why did they have to have this meeting here? (Of course, technically she knows exactly why they have to have this meeting here, even made the suggestion herself. But still.)

“Why the long faces?” Luke asks with a grin that is almost a smirk. Leia glares at him. Luke seems perfectly comfortable, as if the heat is not bothering him in the slightest. He doesn’t even seem to sweat.

“Not everyone here grew up in a desert, kid.” Han grumbles from behind them. Leia turns to look at him. The Correlian looks about as uncomfortable as she feels, with a red face and sweat running over his brows.

“Oh come on, it’s not even that hot. On Tatooine in summer it gets much warmer. You can’t even leave the house then. Everyone on Tatooine is used to it.” Luke says, and this time he’s definitively smirking.

Leia kind of wants to hit him. “Well, I am not used to this. It is way to hot to do anything, much less be as cheerful as you obviously still are.” She tells him. She attempts to sound angry, but somehow it comes out as sounding very much like whining. Leia is a bit horrified with herself.

“Well, I seem to remember that it was you, your Worship, that wanted the meeting to take place here.” Oh, great, now Han is starting to sound amused. It’s just not her day, Leia thinks.

“This is a place where we are very unlikely to be witnessed, as, as you have noticed, coming here takes work and it is a very uncomfortable route if one is not a desertboy.” She glares at Luke again, who just smiles innocently. “That does not mean that I have to like being here.”

Han scoffs. He is looking around them, trying to assess their surroundings. Leia knows he doesn’t like being in places he can’t predict. A military base he can understand, and the shadiest bars in the galaxy are basically his second home, but a desert? He doesn’t know how to deal with it. And the fact that Chewie is still at the Falcon instead of here with them doesn’t help. The Wookie had offered to come with them, but they had told him to stay in the ship. As hard as the heat is on humans, Leia doesn’t even want to imagine how Chewie would feel. Still, Han is uneasy, and understandably though, even though Leia is reasonably sure that their contact will not betray them.

Luke, in contrast, looks just like always, maybe even a bit more… relaxed is not the right word. At home? No, that’s not it, either. The young pilot looks around with sharp eyes, careful to never look directly into the sun. Leia can see him take in their surroundings, sees how he keeps an eye on the clear sky (To check whether there is a storm coming, he had told her. Leia had mentioned that the weather predictions they had looked at after arranging this meeting had not shown a storm, but Luke had said something about the desert weather changing quickly, and since he is their expert, she doesn’t argue) and always makes sure both Leia and Han are still with him. Some instincts are hard to shake, she supposes, and it is quite good to have someone with them who actually knows how to behave in the desert.

Finally, she sees a huge rock rising into the air behind a dune. The rock is shaped curiously, almost like a human face. Good. Their meeting place. Leia breathes a sigh of relief.

“We’re there.” She says. Luke grins. Han makes a grimace and mutters something that sounds suspiciously like “About krething time.” Leia rolls her eyes. It is way too hot to deal with all of this. And why again did she take those two idiots with her?


	7. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke and Leia learn about their mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admittedly, this one is a bit AU, at least to the Legends canon, in which they only learn about Padme like 30 years after ROTJ. But I always thought that extremely strange, given that Force ghosts and R2D2 with intact memories are a thing, so I fixed it.

The celebration is still going on, three days after the battle of Endor, and Leia feels pleasantly buzzed on happiness, victory, relief and the company of the two men with her, her lover and her brother. There’s still a part of her that explodes in giddyness whenever she thinks about it. Luke is her brother, not just her best friend but her actual twin brother. She smiles, and feels Luke smile, too.

They are sitting in the little hut the Ewoks had offered them. It’s not much, and most definitively only temporary, but it has a roof and a door and a couple matts that make for a somewhat comfortable bed. Not that they care all that much, especially in the first two day they’d spend a huge amount of time just sleeping and recovering from everything, as well as telling each other all that had happened.

Now, they are sitting together, not really sleepy, but … well, exhausted. They don’t want the company of their other friends, are happy that it’s just the three of them, together and healthy and alive. Leia leans against Hans shoulder, but her hand is clasped firmly in her brothers.

It’s almost strange, how quickly she got used to it, to thinking of Luke as her brother. But then again, she had meant what she’d told him on the bridge, that she’d always known, somehow. Not actively known, of course, not something she’d ever thought about in those terms, no, but… a feeling, a deep, hidden knowledge that Luke was important, that he was right, that she loved him and he her and that it was not romantic but absolutely indistructable. It had never really made sense to her, but now it seems so obvious. 

She wonders what it would have been like to grow up together, to always know that there were two of them. They would have been inseparalable, she thinks, never more than a few steps apart. Would they have slept in one bed? Surely, if their reaction to nightmares even now is anything to go by. They would have shared everything, never had any secrets. She would have known, even in her worst moments, that she would never be alone.

It makes her sad to think about what could have been. Nothing they can do will change the past, and while she would have loved to grow up with Luke, she wouldn’t ever want other parents. Bail and Breha Organa were her mama and her papa, and she wouldn’t change that for anything. She knows that Luke, for all his complaining, had a nice childhood on Tatooine, and loved his aunt and uncle very much.

Luke squeezes her hand softly. He knows what she’s thinking. They’d always been good at guessing what the other was brooding about, so that was hardly a surprise, but again she marvels at their easy connection.

Suddenly, R2 starts beeping. All three of them startle, Han, still half asleep, reaches for his blaster. It takes them a moment to catch their breath again, and 3PO lectures R2 for scaring them.

But as always, R2 doesn’t particularly seem to care. He beeps on, obviously trying to tell them something. 3PO turns to them apologetically.

“I don’t know what’s gotten him now. He is saying something about a … a Mistress Padme? We never had a Mistress Padme, stupid droid. I am very sorry about this, he has always been difficult.” 3PO babbles, but nobody pays any attention to him. All their eyes are on R2.

The little droid, knowing that they are watching, shows them a holo of a beautiful young woman. She has brown hair and brown eyes, and she looks at the same time very happy and very sad.

Leia holds her breath. She knows that woman, has seen pictures of her during her childhood. It’s Padme Amidala, a former senator of Naboo, co-founder of the Alliance and a dear old friend of Leia’s father. He’d always talked about her fondly, and there had been a time, when Leia was about twelve, when she’d tried to copy everything Senator Amidala did. She had even convinced herself that they looked alike. Leia remembers how she used to hero worship the woman, and smiles a bit. 

Then a thought hits her. 3PO said R2 was talking about a Mistress Padme. Does this mean the droids used to belong to Amidala? Usually, droids go to the family of their owner when said owner dies, but with her father having been close to Amidala, it would not be impossible that he’d gotten them instead. 

“She looks like you.” Luke murmures. Leia turns around. He is staring at the holo, completely mesmerized. Leia wants to say something, make a joke or tell them what she knows about the woman, but for some reason the words won’t come out.

The holo changes. Now it’s a balcony, with two people standing in front of the water. They are dressed in fine clothing, the woman wearing an elaborate white dress Leia recognizes as Nabooian bridal dress. The man wears… the man wears something that looks like a Jedi robe. He looks up, and Leia can’t breath, because for a moment she thinks she is looking at Luke.

“Are you… does that mean she’s our mother?” Luke asks, curiously. Leia is not sure how he can be so calm about it, how he is not freaking out, because what he’s saying… that Padme Amidala is their mother….

Leia suddenly realizes that Luke doesn’t know who Padme Amidala was. He grew up on Tatooine, far away from Coruscant and intergalactical politics. To him this woman is just a beautiful young lady who might be their mother, not someone he’s spend hours thinking about. Luke doesn’t know anything about the siege of Naboo, or how hard and clever Amidala fought against the militarisation of the Republic, or that she had helped found the Rebellion before the Empire had even started.

“He says yes. But are you sure about that, R2, I still don’t understand how you can know that.” 3PO babbles on, but nobody listens to him.

“That’s Padme Amidala.” Leia whispers. Han squeezes her shoulder. Does the name mean anything to him? Amidala died shortly after Leia was born. Han would have been… 9? Maybe 10. Maybe he’s seen the funeral on the news, it was a big affair. Leia remembers reading about it.

“Do you know about her?” Luke asks, his hand still in hers. Leia feels his emotions more than she guesses them, fear and joy and apprehension and wonder.

“Yes.” She tells him.

(They spend the next five hours just talking, with R2 occasionally offering new holos. There are tears, a lot of tears, and even more questions. But it makes them feel better, too.)


	8. Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rogues and Leia and Han celebrate a night out, sometime after ROTJ

The bar is pretty and more or less clean. Well, cleaner than anything they’re used to from the war, so nobody is complaining. And it doesn’t really matter anyway. They have had fun times in some of the worst places of the galaxy. They can have a nice time anywhere.

Luke, Leia and Han arrive last. They find their friends at a table in a corner, back to the wall and rather dark but with a good view to the entrance. Some habits just die hard, Luke guesses.

“What took you so long?” Wedge asks, a beer in his hand and a smile on his face. He looks happy, relaxed. Amused.

“You know them, probably didn’t want to come. We’re mere pilots, not Important Persons like them.” Hobbie grins, eyes filled with laughter. 

Before Luke can explain or say anything at all, Wes jumps in. “Maybe they just saved the galaxy. Again. What tried to destroy the New Republic today? Let me guess. Resurrected Emperor? Forgotten division of the Imperial Army? Pirates?” The last one is aimed at Han, who just grins.

“Traffic.” Luke deadpans. It’s true. Traffic is hell on Coruscant. Especially in the afternoon. Even after half a year living here Luke is not used to it, and somehow he doubts he ever will be.

“And really, don’t you think that you would have noticed such a big crisis?” Leia asks, obviously trying to sound stern, but the fact that she’s grinning sort of gives her away.

“Oh, I don’t know. They are in a bar, and they’ve never been the most clever ones. Also, I think we are definitively good enough to solve something like that on our own. Discreetly, too” Han says mockseriously. Leia bats her hand at him. The Rogues burst out laughing.

The three newcomers get seated and order their drinks. It has been way too long since all of them just had a night out together without any crisis, but the New Republic is young and vulnerable. They all have to work overtime to make sure the Republic doesn’t fall again.

“Well, you know, it’s dangerous, the traffic on this planet.” Tycho says. He smirks and offers them some snacks.

“Yeah, more dangerous than flying an X-Wing.” Hobbie cuts in, grinning and neatly avoiding Leia’s half amused half extrasparated glare.

“Surely it can compete with a trench run at a Death Star, don’t you think, guys?” Wes grins. Wedge next to him tries to go for a dignified chuckle, but burst out in howling laughter instead. 

“Well, all of you made it here, too, didn’t you?” Luke snarks back. He feels himself relaxing, feels all the tension bleeding of the last days bleeding out of his shoulders. 

(Or are those Leia’s feelings? Sometimes, Luke is confused these days. Especially when he knows him and Leia feel similar things, it can be hard to distinguish. Of course, at other times, Luke can distinguish their feelings and shut out Leia’s. Living with Han and Leia is fun and good and all that, but the two of them sometimes behave like horny teenagers.)

Luke looks around. Everyone is grinning, relaxed, happy. None of them are Important People right now. They are not Princess Senator Leia Organa, not General Han Solo and Jedi knight Luke Skywalker right now, meeting with the legendary Rogue Squadron. They are just a couple old friends wanting to have fun. It’s wonderful.

(They stay the night. And get shitfaced drunk. All of them. A scandal is only very narrowly avoided, especially after a few reporters get their hands on some blurry holos of all of them leaving the cantina. Mothma and Rieekan spend the next day alternating between looking amused and lecturing them about the importance of keeping their image intact. Mothma especially delights in talking just loudly enough to make all of their heads hurt.)


	9. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flangsty twinbonding after ESB. This is not intended as incest, please don't read it that way.

Leia wakes with a scream. She doesn’t remember what her dream was about, but there was Han, and someone was writhing in pain, and Luke and Alderaan and Papa and….

It takes her a moment to escape the dream enough to realize that she is not alone anymore. Luke, sweet, wonderful Luke, has taken her into his arms and lets her cry into his shoulder. She relaxes and starts to sob without shame. Luke murmurs sweet nothings into her ear. She doesn’t understand what he is saying, but hearing his voice calms her down anyway.

A few months ago this would have been a really strange thing, something that would have alarmed her and made her ashamed of her own behavior. But things have changed. Bespin happened. Han is gone and Luke lost his hand and they got tortured and Bespin happened. She doesn’t have the energy to feel ashamed anymore, not when it’s Luke.

And it’s not like it is something new, for him to come and wake her when she has a nightmare. Somehow Luke always feels it, knows that she has a nightmare long before she screames and wakes half the base. She thinks it might be some Jedi thing, that he knows such things. (She knows when he has nightmares, too. They’re both not entirely sure what to make of that. Maybe he reaches out to her unconciously, like on Bespin, Luke had reasoned, but neither of them is quite satisfied with that explanation, even though they are not sure why.)

It has actually become so common that they had started to joke about just sharing quarters. They have given each other the codes of their rooms years ago, well before Bespin, but this is more. Luke is the only one who can truly calm down Leia when she has one of her nightmares, with whom she feels truly safe, even though she will probably never admit it out loud, and she is pretty sure that works the other way, too. Luke always seems happier when she is there, a little less brooding, a bit less hunted. More like he had been before everything happened.

There has been gossip, Leia knows. If they are seen emerging each others bedrooms too often, people will always talk. But Leia just doesn’t care anymore. Han is gone, she has been tortured, her whole planet got destroyed. She worries about pretty much everything except gossip, and honestly? Those she cares about know there is nothing going on with her and Luke. Uncle Carlist, Mon Mothma, the Rogues, Winter… they know that Luke and Leia are just friends. 

Just friends. Why “just” friends? Are friends less important than lovers? Even though “friends” doesn’t quite seem to cover it. Luke is… Luke is more than a friend. He is her best friend, the one piece of sanity she still has. He calms her down and makes her feel safe and lets her cry and never judges her for anything. She can just be herself around Luke, can let down her guard. He sees through it anyway, so she doesn’t bother pretending to be anything she’s not when it’s just him.

Finally she can breath somewhat normal again. She looks Luke in the eyes. It’s dark in her room, but she can clearly see Luke, looking at her with concern and warmth and compassion. Never pity, though, something she is infinitively grateful for. She buries her head in his shoulder and hugs him again.

Eventually, she lies down again. Luke turns to leave, but she holds his hand. “Stay, please.” She whispers, and Luke comes to her, lies down next to her, takes her into his arms. That is nothing new, either. They have noticed it weeks ago, in those horrible, sleepless nights in the days after Bespin, that holding on to each other gives them a feeling of peace and security.

He holds her, strong and warm and gentle and safe. When she closes her eyes, she can feel his heartbeat, familiar, somehow, in a way she doesn’t want to question. She doesn’t look too closely at such things, as if she fears they might dissappear in the light of the day. It’s a silly notion, and Leia knows it, but she is afraid, and she really doesn’t want to lose whatever she has with Luke.

They stay together that way for the rest of the night, listening to each others breath and heartbeat. Leia doesn’t expect to sleep, but she drifts off anyway. 

The next day she feels better than expected, more rested, more awake, a bit more at peace. Luke too has slept well, she knows. He smiles at her, and they both leave to face a new day


	10. Old Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lando's thoughts on the deal with Vader in ESB

He knows the ship.

Lando feels as though the world has stopped, as though ice is creeping through his veins, as though there is no air in the room anymore, because he knows that ship.

His whole day had been hell, to be honest. Waking up to hear that the production has problems, then that ugly fight between two of his employees that he had been called to solve, then the Imps arriving. All before his first meal. 

Lando has never really liked the Imps. How could he? They are responsible, at least indirectly, for the death of his parents. And really, one only has to look around himself to know that they aren’t good for the universe. And Alderaan? Yeah, nobody buys the weapons malfunction story.

But Lando is not stupid, nor is he suicidal. Openly opposing the Empire is both dangerous and no fun at all, and honestly, unnecessary. He has Bespin, his own little place, and that’s that. He knows what happened to Alderaan.

So when the Imps with that nutcase Vader showed up, threatening everyone and demanding help in the capture of some dangerous rebels, Lando had complied. Why not? It is not as though he could save the rebels, even if he tried, and he does have the responsibility for everyone here on Bespin. He knows better than to expect the Imps to play by the rules, knows better than to expect them not to harm his people. So he saves himself and all the people of Bespin and gives the Imps everything they ask for.

But now he is standing in the control room in horror, because he knows that ship. Oh yes, he knows that ship. Has spent years travelling around in it before losing it in a sabbac game. (He’s still not entirely over it)

It’s been years since he’s last seen the Millenium Falcon, but yes, of course he recognizes it, still looking pretty much the same, still looking like the fastest ship in the galaxy, even though it is quite a bit banged up. Probably happened on the flight here. Imps probably chased them. He knows who is on board. Of course he knows. 

Lando has not seen Han in years, not since the fight, not since they had come to blows and Han had stormed out, both of them too enraged and too hurt to look back. When Lando thinks of Han, there is anger and betrayal, loud and painful and hot, but there is also longing. The time apart has dulled the rage, at least somewhat, and finds himself missing their easy friendship, that understanding that comes from similar experiences and knowing exactly what to expect of the other. It’s surprisingly difficult to find such friends as Han and Lando had been.

Looking around carefully, Lando sees that Vader is fixated on the ship and not paying attention to him. He goes to the console, quietly ordering the interceptors he has flying around at all times to annoy the Falcon a bit, to signal hostility. He doesn’t think Han will get the hint, that guy had never known what is good for him, but it’s the only thing he dares to do, and he has to do something. He uses a shorthand that is only known on Bespin, because there is no need for the Imps to know what he is doing. Even so, he feels Vaders glare shift to him.

Lando takes a deep breath, watches the Falcon. The ship is not deterred by the interceptors, not that he really expected it to be. He hears Han’s transmission, asking to be given clearence to land. The landing coordinator looks to Lando. It’s nice, somehow, that even now, with what feels like half the Imperial Army in Bespin, his people still expect Lando to make the call. The coordinator heared what Lando had ordered the interceptors to do, of course, and is obviously expecting some sort of resistance. But Vader and his cronies are starting to look suspicious, so Lando gives the man a sign and the Falcon gets clearence.

Han thanks them. Lando closes his eyes. Is he imagining it or is that Chewie in the background? Probably, he can’t imagine the two of them without one another, somehow. Hearing Han again, after all these years, brings a lot of conflicting emotions. Anger, happiness, sadness, betrayal. He still wants to punch the man for what he pulled the last time they had met, but at the same time he’s happy that his old friend is still alive. However, he also knows what is about to happen. In this moment, he’s selling out Han and whoever else is on that ship (because Han is not that high on the Imperial Wanted List to warrant something like this, not that Lando checked.) (okay, he totally did) to who probably is their worst enemy. And he can’t do anything to stop it.

“You will greet them.” Vader breathes, sounding dark and cold and undeniably evil. “They may not suspect anything. If they do, I’m holding you personally responsible.”

“Yes, sir.” Lando responds, and hates himself for it. He doesn’t call people sir, not unless he truly respects them, what happens very rarely. But he is not suicidal, and Vader has already executed on of his own minions for being in the way.

So Lando gets his cloak, gathers a few men and walks out to greet Han and lead him to his doom. I can’t help him, Lando thinks to himself, and I’m already doing my best. Somehow that doesn’t make him feel any better


	11. One of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An exploration of what Luke’s Tatooinian friends thought of the events of the OT, Camie POV

The Imperial division of Anchorhead updates the Wanted posters on it’s front every saturday. It’s kind of a joke, really. Tatooine is a planet ruled by crime lords, scum of the worst kind comes here on a regular basis, but none of those posters show such murderers or thiefs or smugglers or hutts. No, the only people on those posters are rebels. Pilots, politicians, members of the Alliance’s High Command. On other planets those people are considered heroes.

Not that Camie cares all that much. This is Tatooine. Nothing ever really changes here, and if the Imps want to pretend to rule the planet, why not? They can’t be worse than the hutts. And it’s not like any rebels would show up here, anyway. Tatooine has never been worth any detailed attention from the core, whether there is an Empire or a Republic ruling it, and that probably won’t change.

Then the Lars’s are attacked. Camie learns of it the day it happens, sees the smoke rise into the sky and hears her parents talk about the tragedy, about how Owen and Beru were cruelly murdered, about how nobody can find Luke, but they expect the worst. Her parents had been close to the Lars’s, especially to Beru, who had been a freeborn daughter of a slave, like Camie’s mother.

Camie doesn’t know what to feel. She thinks that she should be sad, for little Wormie, who had been in her life since she can remember. Shy little Wormie, more than a bit awkward, always hiding behind either his aunt or Biggs. Who had loved all the stories of their people, and who had always been kind to everyone, just a bit too kind and too naïve for Tatooine. Camie herself had never been a kind a person, but Wormie, Wormie had been. She thinks of Wormie, who had been an amazing pilot and a really good mechanic, and who could hit a womp rat from a huge distance, but who never became arrogant about it. Who was always there to help and was so idealistic it hurt. She should probably feel sad about this all.

But all that Camie feels is anger. Anger, because the Lars’s were innocent, anger because Wormie (Luke, maybe she should call him Luke, now, it is no good to disrespect the dead) was 19 and kind and everything Camie has never been. Because he was her friend, and because the Imps have no right to just come here and kill her people.

In that moment she hates Tank, who has left the planet a few days ago to join the academy, and Biggs, who had done the same a year earlier. They joined the Empire to get away from the hutts that rule Tatooine, but the Empire isn’t any better than the hutts. They just exchanged one tyranny for another.

Nobody cries for the Lars’s. They are children of the desert, and water is precious. They don’t waste it. The glares everyone sends to the Imps whenever they come out, stone cold and vengeful and harsh as the desert itself, are enough to make them start to only go out in groups. Camie and her people take a dark pleasure in it. The children of the desert have survived slavery and hutts and the desert, and they will survive Imps. Let them be afraid of us, Camie thinks, and knows that she is not the only one.

But as it turns out, life goes on. The Lars’s are buried next to Shmi and Cliegg, their farm left as it is, a warning and a memorial. The Darklighters are visited by a stern Imp official and told that their son has gone missing. That makes two of Camie’s group who are just gone. They have found nothing on Luke, no corpse, no clue what might have happened. Fixer thinks that the Imps might have taken him in, but nobody can come up with a reason why Wormie would be of any importance to the Imps, and so that theory dies kind of quickly. There is a general agreement in the free community that Luke must have died, though Camie and, she suspects, most of her people, are not convinced. Luke is one of them. He is of the desert, made out of harsher stuff than the free people. She knows she won’t believe that Wormie is dead until she sees proof.

And then, one unremarkable saturday morning, there is a new Wanted poster at the Imp station. It’s big and colored, unlike most of the other posters, and there is a huge sum offered for hints or capture. Camie checks the posters every saturday, more out of boredom than anything else, and she feels her breath catch as she sees the new poster.

Wormie. Little Wormie, who has been missing for months, who can fly amazingly and can shoot very well, but is too kind for her to ever think of him as a killer. Little Wormie who has disappeared after his uncle and aunt were cruelly murdered.

Well, Camie thinks, not without some dark, vengeful pride, maybe killing two poor moisture farmers on a remote desert planet actually does have consequences for the big bad Empire.

She quickly goes over Luke’s list of misdeeds. Property destruction, treason, conspiracy to overthrow the Empire, killing Imps, membership of the Alliance, freeing Imperial prisoners. It sounds as though little Wormie stopped being nice. She can’t blame him. The price on his head is ridiculously high, enough credits to buy half Tatooine. Wormie must have done something huge, something important, for the Imps to offer so much money. Again, Camie feels proud.

She tells the others of the poster. Fixer is surprised, shocked even, that their little Wormie would be important, that he has developed some sort of bite. He can’t imagine it, can’t see past what he rememers of Wormie, the smallest of their group, to realize that the death of his uncle and aunt might have changed Luke. Camie shakes her head and remembers that Fixer is free, that his family has always been free, that he is not a child of the desert. It’s easy to forget, when all of them have been born free, but in moments like this Camie is reminded of it quite harshly. Deak, shyer even as Wormie had been (he’s probably not so shy anymore, Luke, Camie thinks. You can’t be shy when you have such a bounty on your head), looks between Fixer and Camie as if not sure which one to agree with. Deak has always been a follower, prefferring to follow the strongest instead of using his own head. Windy grins quietly. He says nothing, but there is pride in his eyes that Camie isn’t used to. Windy is a follower, like Deak, but he is also a child of the desert. It shows, finally.

In the next days, Windy and Camie go to the bars of Anchorhead. The bars and cantinas are ugly and frequented pretty much only by criminals, but they want information, and this is the only place they are likely to get it. It’s the first time ever that Camie does something only with Windy. She finds he is not half as cowardly as she had always asumed when he just goes up to the bar owner and asks for what they have heared of Luke. 

As it turns out, they have heard a lot. Apparently Luke has blown up something called a “Death Star” (Camie and Windy almost have a laughing fit right there. Who names anything important a “Death Star”?). Turns out that makes Luke something like a living legend within the rebel Alliance. As far as the bar keeper knows, Luke has officially joined the Alliance and is still fighting. A guest, some smuggler, from the looks of it, claims that Luke commands a whole sqadron of pilots, another swears that Luke is a Jedi. (Camie and Windy freeze at that. It’s true that Luke has always been special, has always … just known things, same as Imee when she was still alive. But a Jedi? Nobody really knows what the Jedi even were, especially out here. Camie and Windy agree, quietly, that that is just a bullshit rumor.)

Camie’s parents show the same savage pleasure as she herself does when she tells them, only toned down, not as obvious. They have a glint in their eyes for the next few days, a glint that speaks of danger and satisfaction and revenge, and Camie knows the whole community feels these things. It is … strange. Amazing. Right. 

They do not rise up against the Empire, nor do they attack the Imps. They remain perfectly, almost aggresively polite, and they absolutely enjoy the fear in the eyes of the Imps. They cannot fight, know better than to attack the better armed Imps, but one of theirs fights them and is, quite obviously, doing very very well. And that is enough.


	12. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia and Han are on a Mission. It doesn't really go as planned.

“I told you that this plan wasn’t that good, your Worship.” Solo tells her with a smirk, annoying and unnessecary and not helping the situation at all.

Leia’s pressed up against the wall, Solo next to her, his body warm and heavy and distracting against hers. She can’t really afford the distraction, because right now there are other problems then the irritating Captain.

A blaster shot burns itself into the wall above her head. Solo yanks her closer to him, as if to protect her. Leia wants to push him away, because how dare he, because she doesn’t need protection, can look after herself just fine. But because she is an adult woman in the middle of a fire fight, she stays still and resorts to just glaring at Solo.

Leia is not even sure what went wrong. One minute they had been just fine, talking to a contact in one of the uglier bars of Namoie, the next there had been blasters raised and shots fired from all directions. Somehow, people had gotten the idea that it was their fault, and had chased them to this old warehouse at the end of town, where they are now hiding out.

“Do we have an extraction, your Highnessness?” Solo asks. Leia is suddenly acutely aware of his breath in her hair, his arm around her shoulder. _Stupid,_ she thinks, _I really have other problems right now._ And it’s _Solo._ Irritating, smug, arrogant Captain Han Solo, who after two years still refuses to properly join up with the Alliance and instead demands payments for every single job he helps with. Leia is honestly not sure why he’s still there, especially because he made it very clear that he doesn’t have any intention of actually joining the Alliance at some point.

But right now, Leia really has better things to do than ponder Solo’s motivations. She checks her crono and shakes her head. “No extraction. This was supposed to go over quickly and without problems. There is another mission on this planet, but even if they could help out, their not slated to come here for another hour, and they will land on the other side of town.” She tells Solo. Technically that’s classified information, but it’s not like Solo would run to the Empire with it.

“In other words, we’re on our own.” Solo sighs. He takes a deep breath and looks around. The goons are closing in on them, Leia knows, and they have to move. Problem is, there aren’t many places to go. There is the forest, but that would be suicide, as it’s full of plants that are highly poisonous for humans. Back into town is no option either, because that’s where their pursuers are coming from. The only other way is a waterfall. _That would be madness,_ Leia thinks, but then she sees a glint in Solo’s eyes, and knows that that’s exactly what he’s planning to do.

“This is an even worse plan than the one you had on Chalima.” Leia tells him, but it sounds weak even to her. They really have to move, and the waterfall might just be the only option that offers them a reasonable chance of surviving. Solo just smirks.

Leia rolls her hand and moves out of cover for a moment to shoot one of the goons that has been creeping nearer to their hiding place. There are others, too many for them to get them all. She sighs.

Solo grabs her hand _(his hand is surprisingly warm and solid, but this is the absolutely worst moment to noticing this)_ and starts running, shooting with the other. Leia follows, blaster raised. She shoots out a light, plunging them all into darkness for a moment. It’s enough. They reach the waterfall, and jump.

For a moment, they are just flying, seemingly out of the grasps of everyone and everything. Then they hit the water. The jump is not as deep as Leia had thought, but the water is so cold that it takes Leia’s breath away. Her hand is still firmly clasped in Hans, though. He makes eye contact, checking whether she is okay. She nods. Together, they start swimming.

After a few long moments, they reach the shore. Faintly, Leia thinks about how good it is that Luke isn’t here with them, because for all his entusiasm, her friend really isn’t a good swimmer, and the current is strong here. The air is cold, especially in her soaked cloths, and Leia shiffers. Han pulls her closer to him, sharing his warmth. Leia should push him away, but for the moment she can’t bring herself to do it.

“And that was somehow a better plan than mine?” She asks Solo, because she can’t let him get too smug, and because that’s how their relationship works, a constant push and pull.

She feels Solo smirking. “Well, we are still alive, aren’t we?” He is looking around, trying to find the best way to get back into town.

“I guess so.” Leia says, and surpresses a smile.

_(When they finally get back to the Falcon, Chewie gives them blankets and hot tea first, and then holds a long lecture about taking care of themselves and not doing stupid things. At least that’s what Leia assumes Chewie is saying, she should really learn Shyriwookie. And if she nods of with her head on Solo’s shoulder, well, that doesn’t mean anything.)_


	13. Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day on Hoth

The whole world is white. The sunlight, far away and not the slightest bit warming, is reflected on the ice. It burns in Luke’s eyes, as though he is looking into the desert of Tatooine and not the ice of Hoth. The wind, icy and harsh, bites at the few bits of exposed skin, as though Luke was in a sand storm on his home planet. It’s strange how much two planets can feel the same when they look so different.

Luke grins. He has never really seen ice or snow before. Water, sure, rain and lakes and even oceans, sometimes, but ice and snow? True winter like in some holo flics? No, that’s new, even three years after he’s left Tatooine. He tries to see all of it, to make sure he’ll remember it. Luke always wanted to visit new planets, always wanted to travel the galaxy. Now, finally, he has a chance to do it.

Luke is still taking in his surroundings when something hits him from behind. Luke wirls around, hand on his blaster, ready to fire, an instinctive motion more so than a reaction to any real danger. He’s close to the base, and he has felt no warning from the Force. 

He sees Leia grinning, a free, relaxed sort of grin that she doesn’t show often enough. Behind her, Wedge is trying to look dignified and not to laugh, Wes is chortling openly, and Han smirks. Luke feels cold water running down his back and shudders. What did Leia hit him with? And where is the water coming from?

Leia bends down, gathers up snow in her hands ( _snow,_ Luke thinks _, there is actual snow here!_ ). She …sort of presses the snow, until it forms something remotely resembling a ball, and then throws it at the still laughing Wes. The ball hits him right in the face. Wes sputters. Wedge starts laughing, too, and Luke grins. That’s what Leia hit him with, then. He’s read about snowball fights, but he never once imagined he might find himself in one.

Leia already has another snowball in her hand. Quickly, Luke ducks and tries to make one, too. It’s more difficult than it looks, the snow keeps falling apart in his hands. He looks up to see Leia thowing her snowball at Han, who tries to move away, and ends up getting the snow in the neck. Leia laughs, loud and free and happy, and Luke wants to join her. He tries to aim his snowball, still not as good as Leia’s, at Wedge.

Wedge, who has moved a few steps away from them, looking around with a big smile, does not pay any attention to Luke until the snow hits him square in the chest. Luke had actually aimed for his face, but it turns out throwing a snowball is different than throwing a real ball. Still, Wedge looks up with a comically shocked expression. The other pilot turns around, clearly amused, and starts to say something, but…

Snow hits Luke in the back. Again. Leia winks at him, another snowball already formed. Luke grins. The game is on.

* * *

Luke tries not to move. His head hurts enough without that. He sneezes, and hears groans from next to him.

The Falcon is filled with five groaning, sick people. They don’t have hangover, which honestly, they would very much prefer at the moment. They’ve got a flu, and thanks to playing in the snow until all of them were really cold, the flue has hit them much harder than anybody else on the base. That’s one thing that is really different from the desert, Luke reflects ruefully. You don’t get so cold. On the other hand, if you play in the desert for too long, you will overheat, and probably end up dehydrated. And you can still get sick on Tatooine, too. Luke would know, he’s been sick often enough as a child. 

The other Rogues have shown up, mostly to gloat. And bring wonderful hot tea, which made Luke forgive them for their gloating almost immediately. Rieekan was here, too, mostly to tell them that they are off duty until they feel better (duh) and that they can go to medical if they want. As none of them had felt like moving, they had stayed where they were.

Chewie comes to check his temperature. He growls something. By the tone Luke assumes it is an extrasparated comment on their lack of self-preservation, or maybe a complaint that Chewie will have to clean the whole Falcon up alone. Luke should really learn Shirywookie at some point, he decides.

Next to him, Leia moves a bit. Her head lands on his shoulder. Leia is burning with fever, not hot enough to be dangerous, but enough for Luke to know that she must be feeling awful. She looks at him, eyes glassy and face a bit redder than usual, and grins.

“I got you in the face. And Han, too.” Leia mumbles. There is a triumphant glint in her eyes that makes Luke smile. 

“You did. And now we’re both sick.” He tells her. She closes her eyes, but grins.

“Still totally worth it.” She says. Luke can’t help but agree.


	14. Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins watch the stars and discuss their cultural differences

Leia stares at the stars. She has always loved them, has spend many nights with her father in the observatory of the palace in Aldera, picking out all the different stars and constellations. When she closes her eyes it is as if she’s there again: the large windows, the old, comfy couch, the thick blankets, the smell of the old books (real books, not holos), the flowers in the corner of the room. Her papa himself, warm and breathing and kind and clever and _alive._

None of this exists anymore. The observatory was destroyed with the rest of Alderaan, her father died with everyone on the planet. She saw it, saw the planet, blue and green and beautiful, saw the explosion, saw the debris that is all that is left of her home.

A tear runs down her cheek. Usually she would wipe it away, ashamed of her weakness, but here, in the darkness of their latest base roof, there is noone to hide her grief from, noone she has to pretend anything for. She doesn’t have to be Princess Senator Organa, last heir of a destroyed royality. She can just be Leia, an orphan from Alderaan who has nothing left and is alone in the huge, cold galaxy.

The stars are still the same, though. Sure, she has a slightly different view than she had at home, but she can see most of the constellations she grew up with. The Harp is on her left, bright and beautiful, while the Crown is on her right, darker, somehow, than it had been when she’d last seen it. A poet would say that the stars grieved with her, or that the Crown has darkened her light as a reaction to the death of Leia’s parents, the queen and viceroy of Alderaan. Leia has never had much use for poets. 

She hears the door close behind her. Turning around, she sees it’s Luke, sweet Luke, who has somehow become a friend to her in the last two weeks. She likes him in a way she doesn’t really understand, likes being around him and talking to him, even though she usually takes a long time to warm up to strangers.

It’s not because he saved her, even though most people seem to believe that. Not that that speaks in any way against Luke, but it’s not why she likes him. Leia can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s … it’s his sweet earnestness, the way he is just so kind to everyone without expecting anything from others, the way he is always polite and sometimes utterly clueless. That, and the fact that being with him feels… good. Right. It’s really stupid, but it’s one of the few good things that she still has, and Leia is not going to throw that away.

“Can I sit with you?” Luke asks. It’s a sincere question, she knows. If she says no, he will turn around and leave her alone. But Leia doesn’t want Luke to leave.

“Yes, of course.” She answers. She tries for a convincing smile, but the look on Luke’s face tells her she’s failing. He doesn’t comment on it though, a fact for which she is very grateful. For a few minutes they just sit there, next to one another, silently staring at the stars.

“It’s strange, you know. The stars… they are the same as they are at home, but they’re also different, somehow. That doesn’t make any sense…” Luke blushes adorably. Leia finds herself actually really smiling. It’s another thing she likes about him: He makes her smile. Without even trying, he somehow always manages to make her feel better.

“No.” She tells him. “I was just thinking about that, too. It might have to something to do with the fact that we changed positions within the galaxy, but I’m not sure.”

“That… does make a lot of sense.” Luke smiles a bit self deprecatingly. He points at the Crown. “That doesn’t explain why the Crip is darker than usual, though.” 

Leia is confused for a moment. What Crip? She knows of no constellation called the Crip. Especially not near the Crown… Then she understands. “The constellation is called the Crown on Alderaan. But yes, I noticed too.”

“Interesting. You have different names for the constellations then? It makes sense, I guess. Different cultures and all that.” Luke is looking at the stars critically.

“Yes, I think. My father and I used to look at them a lot. We used to spend whole nights in the observatory, just watching the stars. I always loved them.” Leia whispers. The memories come back, but this time her eyes stay dry. 

“Well, my aunt took me to see the stars when she had time. Which was not all that often, we had to work a lot. But I always really liked it. She taught me all the constellations she knew.” Luke says. There is a hint of sadness in his voice, and Leia remembers that his aunt and uncle were murdered, too, that Luke is just as much an orphan as she herself is.

“Would you teach me? Tell me all the Alderaanian constellations. I could tell you all the Tatooinians.” Luke offers suddenly, nervously. Leia can’t help but smile. From anyone else, that would have been a pick-up line, but Luke is earnest. He really wants to learn about her planet. And she realizes that she wants to learn about his, too.

“I would like that.” Leia says. She points at the Harp. “Let’s start there.”

_(It becomes a tradition, somehow. When they have time, they go to the rooftops at night, showing each other the stars and telling stories of their homes. It feels good, and right, and it makes Leia realize that she is not alone, not really._


	15. Victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han wakes up after ANH

When Han wakes up, he’s not quite sure where he is.

This is not exactly something unusual, after all, he lives on his ship and not on a planet. However, he is pretty sure he’s not in his cabin, and that is unusual. Slowly he opens his eyes and realizes that he is indeed in his ship, but not in his bed. Instead he is half sitting, half lying near the sabbac table. 

Han tries to move and immediately a pounding headache starts. “Okay, bad idea.” He murmurs, while trying to figure out why he got so shitfaced drunk yesterday. Usually Chewie wakes him or carries him to the bed if he is really out of it. That he is still here means that either Chewie is injured (horrible thought, stop thinking about that, he chides himself), gone (even worse), or just as drunk (possible, but again opens up the question why he got so drunk). 

Slowly, deliberately Han stands up, head still pounding, and goes to the med shelf to help himself to some pain reliever. It takes a few moments to kick in, but when it does, he finally starts looking around.

He finds Chewie on his bed, snoring loudly. He chuckles and pretends he didn’t breath a sigh of relief (not gone, not injured, not dead). In the lounging area he finds a blanket, and with a suddenness that makes him sit down the events of the last two days come back to him.

Picking up the old man and the kid in the bar. Arguing with them about the pay, discussing his debt with Jabba. Watching his two passengers play around with a lightsaber (Jedi, a part of his mind whispers, heroes, but the Jedi betrayed the Republic, they weren’t really powerful, they weren’t really _the good guys_ ). Alderaan being just … gone. The death star. Hiding in the smuggling compartments. Saving the annoying (and very beautiful, _but that’s not the point_ ) princess, who had then taken charge of her own, admittedly improvised rescue. Kenobi’s death ( _Kenobi and Skywalke_ _r_ , heroes of the clone wars, his traitorous mind whispers, but _gods_ , Han’s not ten anymore, he is a krething adult and he will not … he will not think about this _at all_ ). Arriving at the rebel base, and leaving again. The disappointment so obvious in the kid’s eyes (when was the last time someone had been _disappointed_ in him?). Coming back, saving the kids behind. Actually winning. The party. 

Well, at least he now knows why he has gotten so drunk. Han stretches. Might as well start tidying up a bit. The place looks like at least part of the party has been held here.

He finds the kid in a crew bed, pale and cursing and utterly hungover. Han smiles before giving Luke the pain killers, and tells the kid to stay in bed for now. Luke looks like the kid he is just then, shy and naive and way too young to be involved in all this, and Han is forcefully reminded that Luke is 19, that he lost his home and his parents (didn’t he mention he was raised by his uncle and aunt?) and the old man Kenobi in the last two days, and Han catches himself wanting to protect this kid.

(Later, when Chewie asks, he will defend himself and say that, well, at least the Alliance pays well, and look, it’s not like we have anywhere to be, do we? Chewie will raise his eyebrows, but say nothing. And that’s just fine with Han, because he doesn’t feel like defending his decision to stay.)


	16. How it's supposed to be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia, during the first scenes of ANH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was playing a bit with the writing style, and this is what happened. I hope you guys like it.

_This is not how it’s supposed to be._

That’s all you can think as you hear the sounds of blaster fire _(too close and so very real)_ coming closer, see your men and women _(you have laughed and joked and talked with them not an hour ago)_ crumble to the ground, to stay there, unmoving.

_This is not how it’s supposed to be._

You run through the ship, trying to find the droids your father had given you before you left Alderaan _(trust these droids, they’ve never let me down)_. You’ve known them since you were but a child, _(you’re still a child)_ , you trust them, you even like them.

_This is not how it’s supposed to be._

You never wanted anyone to get hurt. _(You were young and reckless)_ You wanted to fight the Empire, of course you did, you wanted to do the right thing, to bring goodness and bravery to the galaxy again, but you never wanted your crew to pay the price for it, you never wanted them to die so that you might have a chance. _(They are loyal to your father, not to you, but they still die so that you won’t, so that your father doesn’t have to lose you)_

_This is not how it’s supposed to be._

There’s chaos everywhere, dead members of your crew are lying on the floor. You know their names, know where they are from, what they did before serving you. _(Most of them weren’t much older than you. You might have been friends with them, had you had more time to get to know them)_ They had a life, a right to live on their own terms, and now that’s gone, now they are dead. Because of you. _(It’s your fault they won’t be returning home.)_

_This is not how it’s supposed to be._

Father will be so very disappointed. _(He trusted you with this)_ He doesn’t like that you joined the Alliance, he wants you to be safe, of course, and he thinks you’re too young. And doesn’t this prove him right? You are responsible for the death of your crew, quite possibly responsible for the failure of this mission, too. Twelve brave Alliance soldiers will have died in vain because you couldn’t fullfill the simple task of bringing the plans to Alderaan. _(They had been the best of the best, and you are only a child that made a mistake. Why did they have to die if you lose it all again?)_

_This is not how it’s supposed to be._

You find the droids and give them the plans. They leave the ship in the last escape pod. _(What are the chances that they’ll be found by members of the Alliance?)_ You’re alone now, and you’re afraid. _(You’ve only ever played at war, how are you supposed to deal with this?)_

_This is not how it’s supposed to be._

Soldiers are entering the room you’re hiding in _._ The blaster is heavy in your hand. _(You know how to shoot, your father made sure you learned, but still)_ Gathering your courage, you take aim and shoot. The first stormtrooper goes down. This should be good, it should be a triumph, but you feel sick _(you’ve never shot a sentient, never even aimed you’re blaster at anything but wooden targets)._

_This is not how it’s supposed to be._

You try to run, but something hits you and suddenly darkness surrounds you. _(You welcome it.)_


	17. Daughter of the Desert

The farm is a ruin, blackened by a fire that has long since stopped burning, torn apart by what appears to have been sand storms and neglect.

_(Nobody has been here in years, a voice whispers in her mind, and Leia doesn’t question it, doesn’t wonder where it came from.)_

Leia can’t tear her eyes away from it.

_(Why does she know this place? Why does she feel as though she should recognize it?)_

She shouldn’t stare, should just go back to figuring out what supplies they’ll need, but she can’t. Something about this farm… something about this whole place captivates her, pulls her in, makes her feel something she doesn’t quite understand. It feels… familiar, in a way she can’t exlain, can’t even begin to comprehend.

_(She thinks, strangely, of the dreams she had as a little girl, of deserts and farms and mountains of sand and a little boy, blond and blue eyed and her best friend.)_

Luke is very deliberately not looking at the farm, she sees, and almost wants to hit herself. As much as this place affects her, it is not her home burned, not her family who died here.

_(Leia doesn’t have a place to remind her of her families death. Leia sees what she lost whenever she steps of a ship, whenever she sees forests and lakes and mountains.)_

They came here to free Han, but since the very moment Leia had stepped of the Falcon, something is off. Not that things have ever felt truly right after Bespin, but this is a different kind of wrong.

_(Nightmares have haunted her for days, weeks, months, panic attacks and flashbacks and the desperate need to scream, to hide, to just … disappear. The only thing that has kept her alive is Luke, and she knows it.)_

It’s almost… it’s almost as if this planet, Tatooine, has a sort of energy. Something that both welcomes and alienates Leia, somehow. And, maybe the strangest thing, it feels as though Leia has been here before.

_(She wants to stay, and she doesn’t. She feels at home, and wants nothing more than to leave. Somehow she knows Luke feels the same.)_

Without truly noticing it, she reaches out to Luke, taking his hand in hers. His fingers slip around hers, warm and calloused and familiar.

_(It’s something she has done before, so many times that she doesn’t even know when it began, something that has given her security and comfort and love for years.)_

A sense of … sadness, mixed with anger and something like tiredness washes over her, and somehow Leia is sure those feelings are not her own. Maybe it’s the desert itself, she thinks, that’s feeling like this.

_(It’s Luke, but she won’t understand that for another few days, until she stands on a bridge on Endor and suddenly, so many thing make sense.)_

“Let’s go.” She says, and Luke nods.

_(You’re home, my daughter)_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr as lukeleiahan


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